feeling grateful at
Time flies when you never know, doesn't it?
Realizing now that it's already been six months since the beginning of 2016. Funny thing is, three weeks flew by like a breeze to me, and I feel rather weird that it felt like only a few moments. I have too many things to say and thank, but too little time to say everything.
Listen, I may not really tell this to you guys, but as my batchmates of Esoterix 1418, and schoolmates of Kolej PERMATApintar Negara, I really respect you. I know it may not look like it, but I really thank you guys for being my batchmates. Being friends with the 43 of you, including former batchmates Wardina, Grace and Hafiz, and batchmates currently in Level 1, Jing Kai and Fariha, made some of the best memories I've ever had. And, I'm not kidding.
To the boys, especially to my classmates, you may remember asking me to do this and that, and you were surprised that I listened, even if it's the tiniest thing. It's all because of the respect I have towards you. I respect most of my batch-mates as seniors, even though the age gap may only be between a few days and a few months. It's just a thing to me.
Then, to batch Iridescent 1516, thank you for being my seniors. You people too have given me very good memories that I'll cherish for a long time. I want to say so many things, but there's not much room to say here. I remember, back earlier in the year, I wasn't too good of a person, I remember not going down for Subuh prayers really often. I remember many things that I used to be. You, as seniors, have paved the path for me to do good again. Thank you.
I treat everyone as friends, but there are people in PERMATA that have helped me through my depression era. Before that, let me talk about my depression era. It spanned for a year and a half, and at many points in that era, I have felt the need to commit suicide, which I fought constantly and daily for the majority of that time. I just wanted to thank one person especially; Leah.
Now, I know, that it's funny that she's the one that helped me for the most part, and I don't want you people to view it wrongly. Please don't. Anyways, I remember back in Foundation 1, back when she really hated me. I remember at one point, she literally pranked the shit out of me by putting a cat in my bag doing prep hours, knowing I hated cats. Memories started flooding back when I thought about all of this.
I don't remember at all on how I became friends with her in the first place, and I have questioned myself a few times whether it was actually worth it, but let me tell you, it was worth it. Really worth it. SheI's been a better friend than a few people I'm close friends with. I mean, she made me a custom button badge thing the other day with a funny quote I said while playing Minecraft with her and Nadia. That isn't really too normal for me, and I have two button badges in my room at the moment, both of which Leah gave to me.
She called, and still calls me 'angsty', considering that I am in a rather stressed-frustrated-angry sort of mood most of the time, but I don't really mind. It's one of the things I've grown used to, and kind of like. I got quite a lot of good memories from the time I spent with her, and I don't regret ever becoming friends with her, and never will I ever regret it.
Another person has helped me, and has constantly dealt with my rather weird attitude (and me dealing with hers too :D) is Nadia. I mean, we've a few things in common, I guess, and although she used to be a sort-of negative type of person, she changed drastically in the past year and a half that I knew her, and it motivated me to change to become a better person. I don't regret the fact that we're friends, the good memories I've had with her, and the fun we've had in the certain things that we do.
Now, if I ever thank you for being my friend, I really thank you for being my friend. And to everyone's whose wished me a happy birthday or belated happy birthday, I was really grateful for it. I never actually expected people to say so, whether it's in person, or on social media, or whatever. THANK YOU ALL! I remember, when my birthday came, on the 18th of June, 2016, I thought back on my life, whether I've become a burden to everyone or not.
I'd better stop here for now. The post would become too long if I were to say everything in one post. I will keep on posting my thanks to everyone. Let me tell you one thing; to everyone out there, who knows me, whether male or female, if you ever feel like committing suicide; remember that somebody out there cares for you, whether it's me or your parents.
Thanks for everything, everyone.
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