Sunday, 10 April 2016

COLLECTION OF PHYSIC JOKES


Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.

Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events? 
A: The Wave 

Q: Why can't you trust an atom? 
A: They make up everything 

Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective? 
A: Sherlock Ohms 

 Q: What did the physicist snack on during lunch? 
A: A 'gram' cracker. 

Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? 
A: Because it's in the ground state. 

Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb? 
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe. 

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? 
A: SWAG 

Q: Where does bad light end up? 
A: In a prism. 

Q: What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
 A: Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red. 

Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? 
A: A CaNiNe 

Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school? 
A: They required an orientation. 

Q: What would you call a clown in jail? 
A: Silicon (Silly Con) 

Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation? 
A: He works it out with a pencil. 

Q: Why is a physics book always unhappy? 
A: Because it always has lots of problems. 

Q: How do you call a one-sided nudie bar? 
A: A Mobius strip club. 

Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean? 
A: Mobius Dick. 

Q: What is a proof? 
A: One-half percent of alcohol. 

Q: According to a physicist, why is the world so diverse?
 A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people. 

Q: How ugly is your mom? 
A: Even Fluorine won't bind to her! 

Q: What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class? 
A: Quark, quark, quark!

Q: What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other? 
A: "Gotta split!".

Q. What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist? 
A: Let me atom. 

Q: What do physicists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? 
A: A ferrous wheel. 

Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? 
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A: To get to the same side.

Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar?
A: An Algorithm

Q: How would you skin Schroedinger's cat?
A: Using an inverse furry transform.

Q: Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?
A: He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.

Q: What's the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?
 A: A natural log cabin! Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg! 

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